RANSVESTIA

A cold chill came over me as I stood up. Conscious of the looks of love and understanding that were bestowed on me, I walked to the window and looked out over the city as my head spun and my thoughts began to sort themselves out. I knew what Martin wanted for us. Despite his youth, he had the wisdom to know that we had a place in life as a woman and a man.

There was no point in hesitating. I turned to Dr. Jim and nodded my head.

"Good. I'll phone upstairs to prepare Martin for surgery. As for you, Barbara, I'll want you to become a patient here so that we can conduct certain tests before we operate on you tomorrow or the next day,"

The rest of that day and the next was a nightmare of prodding and examining by an endless line of doctors. I could not see Martin. He was in the recovery ward and only his two "mothers," were allowed.

The day of my operation came and Dr. Jim seemed to be everywhere. He kept telling me that everything was going to be all right now. How- ever, he did not tell me what I would be going through. The operation was a nightmare. The pain seemed to be ail over my body. I can only remember moments and flashes of what happened . . . the operating room... my legs spread wide and strapped to the table. Sharp, searing pain between my legs where the anesthesea partially wore off . . . the blessed relief when I was given more ether . . . being wheeled back to my hospital room. . . Mommy somewhere near ... some nurse cooling my forehead with a damp cloth and saying: "You have everything to live for now, my dear little girl". . . and then slowly returning to the world of the hospital.

The pain continued without abating. In addition, I felt something had been pushed into me between my legs and seemingly up into my abdomen. Day by day, however, I did get stronger until I was able to have visitors.

Dr. Jim stopped to have a visit with me one morning. He explained to me what had happened in the operation. All aspects of my male sex had been removed. A new vagina had been created for me and the skin of my penis was now the lining of my vagina. The unusual feel- ing that I was experiencing was a plug which was allowing my new

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